The idea might seem like the proverbial red herring, but did
you know that Lloyd’s of London seriously considered underwriting such a
policy?
By: Ringo Bones
Penis insurance might seem like something “to ballsy” for an
established insurance underwriter like Lloyd’s of London to even seriously
consider. But recently, they’ve almost underwritten one but at the last minute
pulled out of a recent “penis insurance promotion”.
A Montreal based underwear company had recently planned to
offer a 50,000-US dollar penis insurance policy to its male customers ended up
as a “half-cocked” proposition. The Lloyd’s of London Penis Insurance Policy
literally goes limp because their actuarial analysts have doubts about its
long-term economic viability.
Lloyd’s of London, the insurance market engaged to
underwrite the said policy, has decided to pull out of the promotion. And given
Lloyd’s practice of underwriting insurance policies whose actuarial figures are
either too mathematically vague or virtually nonexistent over the years, such a
move was deemed unprecedented. Although, Lloyd’s of London had been cautious in
the recent years on choosing which “novel insurance policies” to underwrite
given their declining profits due to recent catastrophic disasters like the
Japanese tsunami of March 2011, Hurricane Katrina and the BP Offshore Oil Rig
disaster of April 2010.
Montreal based UNDZ underwear recently announced during the
start of March 2014 that all men who purchase three or more pairs of UNDZ
underwear via the company’s website would get a Lloyd’s of London insurance
policy to be paid out if their sex organ becomes detached from their body. UNDZ
founder Bertrand Dore said the company had struck a deal with Lloyd’s Canadian
syndicate, La Turquoise, to offer the policies. Will it cover a situation akin
to that King Missile song titled Detachable Penis style mishap perhaps?
A Lloyd’s of London representative told Huffington Post back
in March 18, 2014 that the UNDZ announcement was premature and that no deal was
ever confirmed. Bertrand Dore believes the insurance syndicate only decided to
disavow the policy after they saw a very graphic and not fit for general
viewing promotional video.
Lloyd’s of London has offered penis insurance in the past to
people like David Lee Roth back during his stint as a frontman for Van Halen
because his stage antics back then has always resulted in a near mishap of
penile dismemberment and of alarming regularity as well. But Bertrand Dore
suspects that Lloyd’s are just trying to build a more serious brand and that “penis
insurance” was just a “bit too ballsy”.
